Parents and who someone grows up around can sometimes have an impact on the way they view love, or others. According to gitnux.org almost 50 percent of all high school students have witnessed a parent’s divorce and they are more likely to experience mental health troubles.
Zhariah- May Lewis, 12, witnessed her parents’ divorce when she was five years old. Lewis lived with both parents, seeing her dad twice a week and living with her mom the other days.
While Lewis and her little sister spent time at their fathers, Lewis felt she took on a caregiver role, making sure her sister and herself were ready for school every morning.
“I had to make sure my sister was ready properly,” Lewis said. “My dad did not know how to do hair and was not strict on her but [he] was on me.”
At 14 years old many issues were raised between Lewis and her father. This caused him to lose visitation rights of just her.
Lewis feels the divorce matured her, but also caused resentment between her and her other siblings.
“My older sister’s dad is not in her life, so it caused a lot of jealousy and resentment because we went to our dads,” Lewis said.
The divorce gave Lewis insight on love because she learned what it truly is. “There is love and there is. attraction,” Lewis said. “I think my parents were attracted to each other, but the love was not really there.”
Lewis believes when you love somebody and want to marry them, you must ensure they are fit for you and that there is not just attraction.
Pidgeon Rice, 10, was only in kindergarten when his parents officially divorced on Valentine’s Day.
Rice remembers the divorce being messy. His parents slept in separate rooms until a big fight caused her dad to move out.
Shortly after, Rice’s mom also had to move due to not being able to afford the house they were living in.
“I remember having to help mymom move a lot, she lived in a lot of different places,” Rice said. “When she did get an apartment, I never had a room or a bed, I got a couch and a blanket.”
Rice feels affected by the divorce because they deal with anxiety, depression and having a lot of distrust in his mom.
“I [also] have trust issues in relationships because I do not want to be like my parents,” Rice said.
Meztli Aragon, 11, witnessed her parents’ divorce in 2016, after they were together for 15 years.
“I remember when they separated, I was confused at first,” Aragon said. “[Then this] led me to having major depression.”
Aragon is now in therapy, but the situation was upset for a long time. She also feels like she views love differently.
“I did not see healthy love between my parents growing up, so it has caused me to grow up not knowing what that (healthy love)
looks like,” Aragon said.
Jasmine Hester, 9, witnessed her parents divorcing only about two years ago. Although they were often off and on, their divorce made Hester feel alone.
“Even though my father was not the best person, he was still an important person in my life at the time,” Hester said.
Hester views love differently now because she feels she must be more careful about who she loves.
“Everything was good with my parents, but then they were not,” Hester said. “It shows me that even if I think I found someone that I love, that can change in an instant.”
