If someone is always complaining about being single and has lofty expectations for their significant other, they might have unrealistic expectations. Things like expecting your partner to go against their inherent masculine or feminine polarity, change their ideals, or be the source of all your happiness are examples of unrealistic expectations.
According to zrcounselingservices.com, these expectations come from our underlying beliefs that are shaped or formed by early life experiences or from our family of origin, these are usually ingrained messages that can also come from friends and communities.
For example, the movies and tv shows we would watch as kids. Disney always had ridiculous casting for ‘the boy next door’ or the ‘it girl.’ No regular teenager looks like a Calvin Klein supermodel. Disney casts full blown young adults to play as 16-year-olds and older.
The animated movies are also a part of the expectations as well. Sleeping Beauty and Snow White have the same premise of a random handsome stranger kissing you while they are in a deep sleep. and since it was ‘true love’ the princesses would get married at once, a tale as old as time.
Stories like these have set up our generations for failure. Instead of hopeful romantic we get hopeless romantic. Everyone loves a classic casanova, until they go too far and start breaking hearts left and right because they were hurt by one person.
If you hold unrealistic expectations they may result in inflated expectations, dissatisfaction and bitterness, a breakdown in communication, anguish and a rift between couples. They may develop mistrust and resentment if one person feels their needs are not being satisfied.
As a teenager, hormones are raging, and the entire world seems like it is falling apart. It does not help when you want that special someone in your life and you turn on the television to watch The Summer I Turned Pretty (TSITP) or any one of The Twilight Saga Movies. The actors and the writing of the romance in those types of movies put false ideas and hope inside of your head.
It is not talked about enough how much these types of entertainments have an influence on us as a society. Many times, writers would give characters quirky or silly characteristics that would make the viewer compare them to someone in real life, or even themselves.
Just because a character has some similarities to someone does not mean a thing, because that is all they are, similarities. As humans, we are more alike than different.
In Twilight, and TSITP, it is a reoccurring love triangle between two boys and one girl. Love triangles do happen in real life, but they always have a negative outcome. It leads to jealousy; Heartbreak and you end up gaining new enemies.
Twilight’s characters alone are unrealistic since there are only about five main characters that are actually human, everyone else is a vampire or a werewolf. Edward Cullen, one of the main love interests, is considered as beautiful and perfect as a statue with eyes that change color
based on how hungry he is. The other love interest, Jacob Black, is a six foot seven 16-year-old that has the body physique of a bodybuilder. These men will never exist in real life and if they do it is called cosplay.
In TSITP everyone is human but unrealistically gorgeous. According to scatteredbookstore. com, Belly is a relatable character who is struggling to figure out who she is and what she wants. She is also dealing with the complicated relationships she has with Conrad and Jeremiah. Fun book idea, until directors and writers come along and ‘Hollywood’ it up. On top of that, they put the characters in unrealistic scenarios that would rarely happen in real life.
According to readysteadycut. com the protagonist, Belly, finds herself caught in a precarious love triangle, with both brothers (Conrad and Jeremiah) competing for her attention and that all- important invitation to the debutante ball. Her road to finding true love is a rocky one, with many difficulties. The romance itself is as clichéd and predictable as you would expect.
TSITP sets unrealistic expectations for women to be won over by mediocre men who never even paid any mind until she had a ‘glow up,’ and the teenage heart throb The Twilight Saga, promotes toxic, creepy and abusive relationships.
In real life, reality checks come in daily and there is no such thing as a prince charming or being able to keep up with the Kardashian’s. Yes, even reality tv shows are staged.
According to washburnreview. org participants in reality tv may present a calculated version of themselves and producers may manipulate events to create conflict. As a result, the reality depicted in these shows is oftendistorted. This portrayal of reality is not real and viewers might be influenced to engage in negative behavior.
It is important to never believe everything you see, and to have self-awareness. Mastercounseling. com says to take a moment to reflect on your expectationsand ask yourself if they are realistic or if they stem from societal pressures or unattainable standards. Developing self- awareness will enable you to challenge and reframe these unrealistic expectations.
