Junior year blues
October 29, 2014
Sydnii Washington cried in a car for fifteen minutes.
Tears streaming down her face non-stop leaking into her shirt.
She cried because she could not deal with today let alone tomorrow. The gravity seemed to be heavier drooping down on her shoulders in the little car.
She had junior year staring into her face, the year where colleges point at you and determine if you are the one. If you have what it takes, you have a guaranteed spot in their roster.
It was everything she wanted. Everything she worked for.
Junior year was her last year to show off. She was starting a new club, in four extracurricular activities, and had two A.P classes, and on top of that had a job.
It had to be perfect for Sydnii. There was no other way that she could show them that she had what it takes. She had to make sure that she was the one they wanted in a crowd filled with applications.
Except her junior year was less than perfect, in fact it was kicking her butt.
She wanted to quit, throw in the towel and walk away from everything and everyone. She wanted to live alone on an island that had a population of one in the middle of the ocean.
She had a problem that was crushing her. There was no time for her to just talk to herself.
No she is not crazy.
She just wanted to talk and ask if she is okay. See how she is doing and how she is feeling.
That is why in a tiny car where the air felt heavy she asked herself if she was okay.
She was not okay or anywhere near it.
The sense of relief for saying it out loud brought upon tears. Tears that washed away stress and brought on an odd awkward laughter.
Sometimes school sucks, especially your junior year where everything seems to mean so much more feel like it is something that is essential to your future.
You are sixteen fighting for a spot that can determine the rest of your life.
At times, you have to recognize the fact that you are not perfect, nor will you ever be.
It is okay.
You will be okay.
Sometimes the best person to listen to you is you. No one truly knows how you feel except yourself.
That day, Sydnii got out of the car and smiled. She was not quite happy, but she was relieved.
She was relieved that she will make it through the year victorious.